According to Wikipedia self-love is “the strong sense of respect for and confidence in oneself.” I think loving yourself are those things, but much more. I think self-love is not only having respect for yourself as well as confidence, but ACCEPTANCE of yourself with flaws and all!
I stand at 6’2″ which is not only height above average for women, but men as well… I have these big lips, I’m skinny, and may be a little awkward looking to some. But I also have psoriasis, which gives this journey a bigger twist. Needless to say self-love has been a battle for me to do.
Kids at school would often tease me, but who wasn’t teased at that age? I actually did quite well hiding my skin from peers, to prevent giving them the chance to hit that soft spot with me and my psoriasis. My family and friends would always tell me that I was pretty, that my psoriasis didn’t matter, and that my personality was amazing… But still I didn’t love myself. The flaws that I seen blinded my ability to see the good within me, and stopped me from doing a lot of things. It’s hard to live up to society standards… People say you should wear your hair a certain way, be a certain weight or look a certain way… And along with those expectations is flawless skin, which with psoriasis seems impossible to achieve.
There have been many days and nights were I’ve cried asking God why did he make me this way? Why couldn’t I look like “everyone else.” But then I asked myself what does that really mean? Beauty comes in all forms.
About a year ago I just got tired of feeling sorry for myself! I got tired of feeling depressed and asking “why me.” I decided that it is a lot less stressful just to love yourself. But even with respecting myself, and having confidence… the number one thing I had to do was ACCEPT my flaws. That has been the biggest battle… And the biggest flaw in my eyes has been this psoriasis.
I have my ups and downs, but I am truly working on my self love, and it feels great! I do what makes me happy and feels good, and everything else seems to fall into place. Even “coming out the closet” about my psoriasis has been liberating, because I no longer have to hide and keep this so called secret… And to my surprise a lot of people are more accepting than I could have ever imagined.
One thing that I’ve learned through my battle with psoriasis is the beauty that is inside a person, is truly more significant than the way a person looks on the outside… I can say that I am truly humbled.